Dating in a Foreign Language


  1. A number of times ive dated people who didn’t speak my native language english.

    Russian, hebrew, and spanish being the most common.

    the #1 thing it did was improve my skills, my patience, and my understanding of humanity.

    thanks for this post.

  2. It does seem exotic and exciting, doesn’t it… When I moved to Geneva, I was hoping for a francophone boyfriend with a sailing boat on Lac Léman and a chalet in the mountains. I speak more or less fluent French now, and of course men say that my accent is ‘cute’, but I can’t help but feel a bit silly and incapable of expressing the nuances of what I’m feeling in what is still a foreign language. And I’m still talking about European languages and cultures here!

    • Alana says:

      I think ultimately it comes down to the two individual people and if they work or not…but the different culture/languages definitely adds an extra hurdle sometimes! And nice job on the French…

  3. we’ve been in Thailand almost a year now and although we have learnt basic words. we hardly ever get the chance to properly practice the tones and sentence structure. we learn fastest when we are thrown into real situations. it really is the only way to properly learn.

    • Alana says:

      I took private lessons for a while, and have a decent foundation, but rarely use it except for ordering food (which I’m a pro at). I’ve found it difficult to meet and interact with people who didn’t speak much English and were willing to talk with me. I also haven’t been able to make many Thai friends – without that you can’t practice! It’s frustrating…

  4. Lindsey says:

    I’ve had relationships in Chinese and now Thai. It’s pretty exciting, and always exhilarating but frustrating at the same time. I find that the best only-Thai-speaking friends I’ve made, the ones most willing to talk to me in Thai all the time, are the ladies in their 40s who operate a couple food stalls outside the local 7-11. I have chats with them every time I go to 7-11, and we sit down and gossip like we’re at the beauty parlor. It’s heartwarming, and great practice for my Thai! At one point (before I had a steady Thai boyfriend) I was accepting dates from any Thai man who asked me out, provided he couldn’t speak English. That was great practice too!

  5. Feliz Risos says:

    I started talking to a boy in Mexico via Facebook. I do not speak any Spanish, however it would appear we are in a relationship. Sometimes it takes a while to explain things to each other, but everything seems to be working fine.

  6. Franca says:

    I’m Italian and Dale (my partner) is English but as you can tell there are no language barriers there, when there are though must be so incredibly hard to communicate, I’m sure at the end it’s possible to find the way to understand each other but I don’t know if I could do it myself. Very challenging! 🙂

  7. Ani says:

    Hi Alana! Great post! Any intercultural relationship comes with their own share of complications. But even if challenging, it can be an exciting learning experience about another culture and it will definitely help you to improve that foreign language. Even if they don’t always work, I would say follow your heart. After all, every experience in life has something to teach us! Cheers 🙂

  8. Ha! My husband of many decades and I are both native English speakers, but from different English-speaking countries. We have many cultural differences, and even after all these years, differences in how we use the language. Sometimes it’s been frustrating, but now, thankfully, we usually laugh about these differences. I guess if we didn’t, we wouldn’t still be married 😉

    Excellent post, and thanks, as always, for your honesty and accuracy. You write so well.

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